Saturday, June 2, 2012

Heart Muscle Weakness - the Root Problem of My Chronic Heath Condition?


Schematic representation of the atrioventricul...
I had a "perfect" day yesterday, did things more than I expected, and did not feel anything wrong until I was ready to sleep - when that familiar heart weakness (actually "malfunction" is a better word) occurred. And this morning I woke up with a "not much better" feeling, realized my only option was to cancel all my Saturday classes. But, the good thing is, with a sudden enlightenment that came from no where, I realized what exactly wrong with my heart - weak heart muscle!

The reason I believe that my heart muscle is the ultimate "culprit" (at least one of major one!) is, for so long time, I've been always struggling  with my limit of energy - in order to feel better, or get my heart stronger, I have to exercise, but if I exercise just a bit over the limit, I got serious trouble. And this limit seemed to be impossible to figure out, if I stopped at the time I really feel tired, it is no doubt too late. So I really should stop before I really feel tired, say 5 or 10 minutes before, but this is a real problem, because I would always feel good before tiredness really comes, how could I tell when is the "5 or 10 minutes before"? Yesterday was an example, I even felt quite good after all day's busy working. This morning, I suddenly thought about how muscle works - it gets sore NOT during exercise, but AFTER exercise. And this resembles exactly how my heart functions. So I think it must be the weak heart muscle who messed up so many things for so long.

Of course, I also have so many other issues than just heart muscle, but I do have my reason to believe this is a major one. For what I know there is no truly a treatment for this problem but exercise. So, as I understood long time ago, if I want live a healthy life, I must walk everyday!


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Monday, May 28, 2012

Gardening

I started liking gardening since couple of years ago, and this year, I enjoy it much more than pretty* years. Spending time with all these green is my greatest pleasure during daytime, it makes me feel healthy and alive. Most of vegs look greet so far. 
Below are the photos of one side of my backyard. 




*  "Previous" was mistyped as "pretty". But i guess every year is pretty, so I decided to keep it that way:-)

Modern Myth - Mental Unwellness as the Cause of Physical Unwellness

Health
Health (Photo credit: 401K)

It seems to be many people's belief that mental wellness plays big role in our physical health, even functions as a cause of many physical illnesses. I doubt it. I do believe that our mental wellness play big role in the overall quality of our lives, but not necessarily (a big role) the physical part of it.

Studies show that many people who have mental problems such as depression or anxiety also have physical problems. This result seems to be very convincing about how mental wellness affect physical condition, but for me, it doesn't. I agree it does show the connection - our mental and physical parts of lives closely connect to each others, but, I do not see it shows mental condition IS THE CAUSE and physical illness IS THE CONSEQUENCE. For me, a reversed procedure is much more convincing - that very often mental unwellness is the consequence of our bad physical condition.

By my limited knowledge, the reasons that many people believe mental unwellenss is a cause of our physical health are: 1, modern psychology brought the importance of mental condition to our concern (which is good); 2, many studies show the connections between mental and physical health; 3, the "faith" to modern medicine (in other words, when doctors cannot diagnose a self-claimed physical illness, they blame to patients' mental conditions). But for me, none of these reasons show precisely that mental illness is the CAUSE of our physical illness - modern psychology just stressed the importance of our mental health, it does not necessarily make it as the cause of everything; the connection between mental and physical condition does not prove mental condition is the cause of latter (as I pointed out above), and doctors' failure on diagnosing physical diseases also cannot be a proof of patients' mental problems (rather, it is a proof of the ignorance of many so call "experts:). But why people still easily believe on our mental power? I am not entirely sure, and that's why I call it "modern myth".

One of examples of how people hold such belief is how doctors treat patients with unknown chronic illnesses. Whenever they failed diagnose some diseases by their knowledge and expensive equipment - which they (doctors and many people) believe as "omnipotent" on humans' physical function, they would confidently ask patients: "are you in depression?" And in most case, these patients are unfortunately in depression, at lease when they are very ill. But important fact is, their depression usually is caused by their physical condition, not the another way around:
"we should not confuse the fact that the vast majority of fatigue patients are depressed BECAUSE OF CHRONIC ILLNESS, not chronic ill because of they are depressed. this is a very important distinction and one that most doctors fail to draw... to treat depression as causing the whole illness is wrong" (i would add "is not only wrong but dangerous". ---Edward Conley, author of "america exhausted"

Of course, Conley was addressing those patients with physical chronic illness only. He did not say that all depressions are caused by chronic physical illness. I agree that there are also plenty of depressions are caused by mental issues, not physical ones. All I am trying to express here is, while our mental condition does affect our physical condition to some degree, it is not "scientific" nor "reasonable" to stretch this "some degree" to an exaggerated extent, like many people believe. I personally believe, that compare with our physical condition, mental condition is "secondary" in our overall life quality. This "belief" is based on a simple fact: our physical condition IS THE FOUNDATION of our whole life being. For those who believe our spiritual condition is more important, I would suggest that it is because sometime, or some of us, our physical condition allow us to be "spiritual", and we probably just take it for granted.

Again, I do agree that mental wellness is important to the overall quality of our lives (because it does affect our happiness tremendously), but not as crucial to our physical body function. Just imagining a person who is chronically tortured by physical pain, can he/she by so call "positive"? He/she might be tough enough to hold hope, certainly cannot be happy and cheerful all the time. On the contrary, I have seen plenty of people who have sever depression but still in decent (some are in excellent) physical health. For me, this is enough to show the dominance of our physical condition to our life existence.

And we all know, if our physical body died, we don't even have so call mental health exist, unless, of course, if you believe we have soul, which continues to act "positively" in heaven.

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Wednesday, May 2, 2012

No Time For Depression

Depression Cycle
Depression Cycle (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Many people seem to have a belief that the reason most CFS/ME sufferers got ill is because of their depression. This is mostly wrong. While it is true that patients with chronic (we talked about years, not months) illness would hardly not to get depressed, but which is cause, depression, or chronic physical problems?

Speaking for my own experience, I do not even have time for depression! I have been so busy to dealing with symptoms. Ironically, it was those moment when I got better I did feel some loneliness or depression, but they usually quickly went away either due to either my symptoms attacks or, my natural happy spirit.

However, sometime, during physically not so bad and not so good time, I would feel depressed, for the long last fatigue condition. But, this mood also can be changed as soon as my physical condition changes, either for better or for worse - if my physical condition changes to good, I would involve in some activities which lighten me up; or, if physical condition gets worse, I would be again busy on "problems solving".

I do not think I am the only one in the CFS/ME world. I believe that most CFS/ME patients would be in a similar way: inevitably feel depressed/frustrated DUE TO seemingly forever sick situation. I read this passage from a book and I think it's worth to quote it again:
"We should not confuse the fact that the vast majority of fatigue patients are depressed BECAUSE OF CHRONIC ILLNESS, not chronic ill because of they are depressed. this is a very important distinction and one that most doctors fail to draw... to treat depression as causing the whole illness is wrong" (I would add "is not only wrong but dangerous".
---Edward Conley, author of "America Exhausted"
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Thursday, April 26, 2012

Amazing Progress!

Since 18th of this month, my health has been climbing up again, by the "speed of light"!

April 18th is a date that I will not forget, because it is my birthday. What did I do on my birthday? Cutting off white rice, a typical acid food that made my stomach upset almost every night! Of course, rice was not the only cause, all the acid foods I took together made my stomach very sick. However, I was not able to cut off red meat, because if I did, I would feel extremely weak, and the weakness would inevitably trigger my heart symptom. So for longtime I struggled between diet with and without red meat, either way caused me trouble. Just recently I learned that steam bread - a main course that eaten by northern Chinese people, is as matter of fact "alkaline", even though it was made by white wheat. And my stomach did feel very good every time when I eat steam bread.  So I suddenly realized that I could change my main course. And I did, on April 18th, first time in my life I ate like northern Chinese "barbarians" - steam bread all the way! The result was a magic (no doubt they beat up southerners all the time!): the same night I had first non stopped sleep since longtime! And I did the same thing the second day, then another good night sleep followed.

The reason that steam bread give me good sleep is, I think, that its alkalinity neutralized the acidity in the red meat that I ate.

For the third day after I ate steam bread, my stomach started feeling for potatoes. So I boiled some potatoes (with skins), ate it as main course, the result is just wonderful (seems better than steam bread).

I do eat lots of vegs. I know raw vegs would be the best choice but my stomach cannot handle raw stuffs, so I made salad by half boiled vegs (lots of squashes), it works well.

Before April 18th, the date that I changed my main course, my energy level was about 40% - 50%, now, only a week, I am at 75% - 80%  (feels like 85%).

What's even better? I am losing weight!


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Sunday, April 15, 2012

Life on the mend

Loch Lomond
Loch Lomond (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
After a serious relapse which lasted almost two months (February and March), I am getting better this month. The symptom mostly was my heart malfunction, it immobilized my body for the most of February and part of March. The second symptom was stomach weakness which prevent me to get enough nutrition, and consequently affect my heart's recovery.

I did terrific in the second half of last year and I thought I was on the way out of trouble. What triggered this major attack? By looking back, my answers again, is "multiple causes": The first one I would think was my thinking/writing hobby, which made my body lacked exercises, hence my heart suffered; the second cause I would say it was "coffee". I drank 2- 3 cups of coffee almost every afternoon last year. It overburdened my heart. After these two, there were some other trivial ones, like diet, rest, etc.

Lesson learned again in a tough way. I was demanded to change my lifestyle: thinking/writing as less as possible, engaging in physical activities as much as I could (the problem is that I could not do "too much" physical activities either - right amount of physical activities is beneficial, too much would be the worst nightmare, and the line in between is almost "invisible"!). This pretty much means to change my personality. But I have no choices. Without a healthy body, I could not enjoy my colorful mind. So while my body is on the mend, i hope my life is also on the mend.
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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Falls Lake

Having been hungry to water view for longtime, I finally got chance and energy to go to Falls lake, a place that is only 25 minuets drive from where I live. The trip was "delicious, but not without "price".

It was unbelievably warm and windy. I wore short t-shirt, felt like Summer, but, it's only February!
















Friday, February 10, 2012

An Unexpected Relapse

Road bed in the Long Pond Greenbelt
Image via Wikipedia
My January of 2012 was pretty bad, compared with previous "success" - I did feel wonderful during most of last summer and fall. Now it seems that I am in a more serious condition than I expected: my first major relapse in more than one year. I have nothing to do except rest, and rest again, because my heart simply doesn't allow me to do anything.

But I know things will be better. All I have to do is good rest, and good diet. I roughly have idea what was the cause this time - not much different from before. And I know very well that just because I know the cause, it doesn't mean I could prevent it from happening again, because... well, it's complicated, even a daily normal life can contain tasks that overdraw my energy. But again, I know I can deal with it, it's just a matter of time.

It seems that I do need to live a much more "reserved" life style than what I had before: accept the difficulty, spend much more time on cooking, sleep longer (as much as I need), never sit still for too long, and super important: do not challenge my body, exercise must be less than I estimate.

This relapse doesn't discourage me much, if not any, because my whole last year was a steady improvement. All these mess was caused by my recent negligence due to my feeling so well before the end of last year.

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Friday, January 27, 2012

Lifestyle

Lifestyle Network
Image via Wikipedia
(Current energy level: ~70%)
In a Chinese forum an online friend said that all diseases are just warnings that our bodies giving us,  telling us that our LIFESTYLES DO NOT WORK! I think this is a very true (Except the "all" part)! For my own case, I am fully convinced that 90% of my health problems are caused by my bad lifestyle. So changing life style is just what I need. Even after I recovered completely, I shall still keep in good life style: never sit down for too long! Always keep enough physical activities!




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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Winter - a season for storing energy

Since a middle scale relapse over one week ago, I realized the most important regimen for me during the season is REST. I have been doing well on following this rule, no exercise except stretches or simple housework. I started feeling quite good for a couple of days.
I am convinced that during my past several of years "exercise" was my primary cause of all problems. "Exercise" became a "faith" since almost 10 years' ago, when I first realized walking helped my heart. However, my health situation changed along time but my "faith" did not catch up. Now, mentally I have completely come down and able to put all of elements together, I seem to find the simple solution, which was there always, but never truly appear to my observation until I was ready.
However, the past year was a major progress, mostly due to my careful diet. This year, I certainly look forward for a more completely improvement.