So sick of this sickness!

I got crash again and i just started keeping canceling my classes. Haven't been like this for about half year! This journey of recovery is just long! However, I am still holding my hope tightly. I do WHATEVER IT TAKES to get well!

Another Crash!

Had another crash yesterday, one week after my previous one! But this one was just a backlash from the previous one, hopefully it will be gone within 24 hours. So far, this morning I feel pretty decent after a good sleep last night.

Recovered In One Week!

Well, I thought I would be recovered in a couple of days, but I was wrong. I recovered in almost a whole week! Still, it's good to get recovered, though my energy is not bad up to 90% yet.

An Unexpected Crash

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I had been having great time for months, during which I seldom had any serious crashes. That is to say, I still had some down times, but they were too trivial to mention. Last night I had something more serious that I feel like to put a few words on it.

I was invited by an old friend's husband to dinner. I was happy to go, thought it's time to have some social life. And I went, felt great at the beginning. But a little later I realized my energy was dropping down, and when I finally left, I felt my legs were extremely weak, almost gave way when I walked to my car. I drove back anyway, realized I was actually quite "dehydrated", so I drank a lot of water. Soon after my heart started beating violently, and I could absolutely do nothing but lie down in bed. I realized this was something I would call "crash", a relatively serious retreat during my overall excellent health progress.

I feel OK this morning when I woke up, recovered a lot, though still feeling the weakness. I found my condition still goes like a cycle: after going extremely well for a while, it would go down a bit. And if I were not careful enough during the period it went down, I got punished. Last night was an example of carelessness: I overdrew energy during my energy cycle went down. I suppose I would feel good again in matter of a couple days.

This is a warning that I am not yet ready for social life yet. Nonetheless, I had wonderful time with two handsome strangers (my friend's husband and step-son). This was something I had not done for ages, and I am pleased that I was still able to socialize with people.

Why Regarding Unknown Illnesses As "Mental Disease" Is Offensive

 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Since most people take modern medicine as "absolute" (by saying that I mean, people believe modern medicine can take care of all physical illnesses, except fatal diseases like cancer), they easily consider the cause of unknown illnesses as "mental". This is why we often see people try to "encourage" those who suffer invisible diseases to work "harder", to push through, as if they are mentally weak individuals. I still remember once a kind lady's first words to me after hearing my brief story: " be tough." I have to say, not only this is a wrong approach, but also offensive attitude toward those patients. Why, because one of primary reasons these people got so sick is precisely because they are mentally tough - so tough that they overdrew their energy, and their illnesses are nothing but the consequence of their mental toughness (physical energy overdrawn).