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This morning I received an email from an old friend. It was a link to a video of a lecture about how our spirit affects our physical health. It sounds good I know, but just after watching about 10 minutes, I was feeling like wasting my time to some superstitious crap!
Not only the speaker's (he looked nice and health) sluggish tone made me impatient , the contents was mostly irrational. Be fair to say, there are a few interesting things in his speech like how those ancient masters such as Confucian or Buddha made their core theories based on Five Elements - the ancient Chinese interpretation of the nature, but the relationship he made between human beings' physical illness and "moral" quality is just a pure ignorance to me.
It seems to me, that when people have no answers to some physical phenomenons, they tend to believe there are something to do with spirit, such as moral quality, faith creed, whatsoever. But the facts are out there: so many evil-spirited people are physically healthy, and so many nice people get ill. I really don't think there is a need to write an research paper to prove this. But the question is still there: do most people tend to be superstitious or religious when they are lost?
Since the video was sent by my friend who knew that I was chronic ill, I had to assume that she must believe that this video will do good to me. Even though I understood that her intention was completely innocent, I still could not help to write her an email to express my feeling of being offended (I didn't really say the contents are all crap though. Maybe I should).
Frankly speaking, I have been having trouble with my friendship for a while.. During earlier years of my illness, most of my friends seemed to be more understanding, but for such a long term, they must be tired (which I understand), or, simply don't know what to do. They either estranged themselves from me, or tried to convince me that I am not physical ill at all. So I end up losing patience because it is so much energy taking to keep communication. And needless to mention, some of their "understanding" are just destructive to my health.
Once upon a time, I had to doubt myself: am I really cursed? or do I really have big problem with making friends? Until one day I found online community and discovered lots of CFS patients had been experiencing exactly same situation like mine (guess collectivism works in some way). So I no longer doubt myself, no longer put relationship above the truth of what I know.
So, as I mentioned earlier, as a rebel, I choose truth, instead of relationship: yes, I am chronically ill, but I am a moral and mentally healthy person.