Saturday, July 7, 2018


Well, it turned out I spoke too soon in my previous post. I said I was fine, but fact is, for 5 days after biking, I've been suffering from extremely muscle sore and weakness, feeling debilitated most of time. Today I realized this fatigue came from my weakened muscles.

For years my focus was on my heart, and I did mostly cardio exercises. After this "test" - the bike tour I mentioned in previous post, I found that my heart was certainly improved, but my muscle seemed much weaker than before. Of course I always knew I needed some muscle exercises but my heart problem always always seemed more urgent. It's good that I finally improved my heart, and now it's time to improve muscles!

Monday, July 2, 2018

A Milestone

Haven't updated this blog forever. Because, mainly, I was tired of repeating. Not that I had no progress, but all I had been through during these couple of years were quite the same as before: symptoms, crashes, taking care of myself, diet, etc., all the same. I know I can be well again, it's just matter of time.

Today I did something worth to write down. I biked 4 miles, and more importantly, I came home feeling totally fine! During past 10 years I only dared to try this (biking 4 miles) twice, and both with dreadful consequences - the second time I literally crashed down in front of my door (I had to lied down on my front lawn otherwise I would have heart attack!), and followed by days or even weeks of being seriously ill. But today, I AM FINE!

I first biked to Food Lion, which is 2 miles from my house, bought a little grocery, then biked back along different route, which is also 2 miles. I had to walk on several sections of the roads because of up hills, but overall, it wasn't too hard for me.

So now I am positive to say that I am in the best physical condition during recent 10 years. However, I know that in order to prevent health going down again I must keep good life habits, include lots of physical activities, good diet, and sleep well.

My "dark age" of chronic illness officially started in 2008, though I was already very ill before that point. Now I still cannot say that I am cured. But I have no doubt that if I can keep my good life style I certainly will be.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

Health is UP!

Finally, my health is up again. For recently a couple of weeks I've not felt overwhelming fatigue and during recently several days I've done the most work for years without a crash!
2015, I had similar good period - it lasted for almost 3 months until final crashing down. This year summer I experienced another up rally but soon back to my "normal" condition which was sick... Hope this time lasts...

Monday, July 3, 2017

Healing effect of gardening

Gardener Gardening
 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Haven't post anything for ages. My health has been stable for almost a year. no major relapses but many crashes. My energy level shifted from 50% - 80%. Could be better, but feel lucky that didn't got worse, and to be able to enjoy some life. No complain.

Just discovered that gardening had amazing healing effect on eyesight. My sight declined terribly during recently one year or two. Sometime it's so blurry that I worried that I might lose sight all together sooner or later. A few days ago I did lots of gardening as my physical energy got much better (God bless!), then suddenly, I found my sight got so much clearer than only half hour ago! Later on a friend who worked in medical profession said that staring at green is good for eye. No wonder! She also said the looking far distance was also good. Yes, I know that part. Living in a place that is surrounded with trees, I often feel like I need to look at distant view (I wrote a blog about that a couple of years ago).

So recently, every time my eyes got hurt by staring at computer screen (I should quit using computer!) I go back yard to work with plants. It indeed worked every time! Especially when there were sunshine on green leaves!

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

I Canceled My Free Health Check Up And This Is Why

On past Friday, Coventry, my health care provider called me and made an appointment on past Monday, for a nurse's visit with equipments to check me up, for free. I agreed first then after a day's serious thought I canceled it. Why? Because I already knew what would be the outcome: everything is fine, even beautiful, bloody pressure, breath, heart rate, weight, height, etc..

Am I fine? I had two angina attacks during the past 3 weeks, the first one was severe, but only lasted hours, the second one was less severe, but lasted more than a day. So why didn't I go to hospital? because if I did, chances were "Mei He (aka Yun Yi) died from heart attack on the way to the ER". Hey, my reader friends, I am not kidding, because to ease my chest pain I needed completely rest, water, and good foods, and all of these were not likely provided by the heroic rescuing, by putting me on stretcher that undulates its way into ambulance which turbulently rushing into hospital. I would not die by heart attack, but I am sure I would die in that way during my heart attack. (I know not everybody would die like me because everyone's strength or resistance is different, and my resistance to such struggle is almost zero!)

Modern society is complicated cooperative system, that each of us take care different things (experts!). This is great because I learned that we humans are good team-workers and that's one of reasons we survived and prospered. But for personal health care, I doubt how much good this cooperation would do. I doubt how much good this marvellous and formidable edifice of modern medicine and health care would to do each individual, except making most people more and more dependent regarding their own health, more and more ignorant about how their own bodies work.

I think medicare system might be good for majority, because most of human beings do follow some certain principles. But I also have reason to believe, that as each individual becomes more and more unique, human race is becoming a more heterogeneous collection, which can be very hard to deal with by general principles, like what modern medicine has been doing.

During my past over 10 years of health struggle, I had been told by doctors again and again that I was perfectly fine, all my test reports were not only fine but fabulous, even when I was in extremely dreadful condition. So I quit seeing doctors, and put health in my own hand. Since then I've been making real progress, slowly, almost only discernible by myself (all people who know me pretty much give up the hope that I could be well). Indeed, without help, I paid tremendous price for each piece I found to solve this monstrous puzzle, but each piece I found is solid and without any "side effects". Early this year, I reached such a great condition that I even thought I was out of darkness "eventually", but I slipped unfortunately again over two month ago. However once again, I am on the way up, and I believe I will be in an even better place than previous time.
Am I really this confident? Yes, because my health care is completely in my own hands.

P.S. Having said all of this, I still objectively keep an option that is I would never be completely healthy again. But even that, I know is still a better condition than to give myself to medical profession.

Friday, August 21, 2015

So sick of this sickness!

I got crash again and i just started keeping canceling my classes. Haven't been like this for about half year! This journey of recovery is just long! However, I am still holding my hope tightly. I do WHATEVER IT TAKES to get well!

Another Crash!

Had another crash yesterday, one week after my previous one! But this one was just a backlash from the previous one, hopefully it will be gone within 24 hours. So far, this morning I feel pretty decent after a good sleep last night.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Recovered In One Week!

Well, I thought I would be recovered in a couple of days, but I was wrong. I recovered in almost a whole week! Still, it's good to get recovered, though my energy is not bad up to 90% yet.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

An Unexpected Crash

English: Unexpected rains!
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I had been having great time for months, during which I seldom had any serious crashes. That is to say, I still had some down times, but they were too trivial to mention. Last night I had something more serious that I feel like to put a few words on it.

I was invited by an old friend's husband to dinner. I was happy to go, thought it's time to have some social life. And I went, felt great at the beginning. But a little later I realized my energy was dropping down, and when I finally left, I felt my legs were extremely weak, almost gave way when I walked to my car. I drove back anyway, realized I was actually quite "dehydrated", so I drank a lot of water. Soon after my heart started beating violently, and I could absolutely do nothing but lie down in bed. I realized this was something I would call "crash", a relatively serious retreat during my overall excellent health progress.

I feel OK this morning when I woke up, recovered a lot, though still feeling the weakness. I found my condition still goes like a cycle: after going extremely well for a while, it would go down a bit. And if I were not careful enough during the period it went down, I got punished. Last night was an example of carelessness: I overdrew energy during my energy cycle went down. I suppose I would feel good again in matter of a couple days.

This is a warning that I am not yet ready for social life yet. Nonetheless, I had wonderful time with two handsome strangers (my friend's husband and step-son). This was something I had not done for ages, and I am pleased that I was still able to socialize with people.

Friday, August 7, 2015

Why Regarding Unknown Illnesses As "Mental Disease" Is Offensive

English: Common signs and symptoms of fibromya...
 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Since most people take modern medicine as "absolute" (by saying that I mean, people believe modern medicine can take care of all physical illnesses, except fatal diseases like cancer), they easily consider the cause of unknown illnesses as "mental". This is why we often see people try to "encourage" those who suffer invisible diseases to work "harder", to push through, as if they are mentally weak individuals. I still remember once a kind lady's first words to me after hearing my brief story: " be tough." I have to say, not only this is a wrong approach, but also offensive attitude toward those patients. Why, because one of primary reasons these people got so sick is precisely because they are mentally tough - so tough that they overdrew their energy, and their illnesses are nothing but the consequence of their mental toughness (physical energy overdrawn).