On past Friday, Coventry, my health care provider called me and made an appointment on past Monday, for a nurse's visit with equipments to check me up, for free. I agreed first then after a day's serious thought I canceled it. Why? Because I already knew what would be the outcome: everything is fine, even beautiful, bloody pressure, breath, heart rate, weight, height, etc..
Am I fine? I had two angina attacks during the past 3 weeks, the first one was severe, but only lasted hours, the second one was less severe, but lasted more than a day. So why didn't I go to hospital? because if I did, chances were "Mei He (aka Yun Yi) died from heart attack on the way to the ER". Hey, my reader friends, I am not kidding, because to ease my chest pain I needed completely rest, water, and good foods, and all of these were not likely provided by the heroic rescuing, by putting me on stretcher that undulates its way into ambulance which turbulently rushing into hospital. I would not die by heart attack, but I am sure I would die in that way during my heart attack. (I know not everybody would die like me because everyone's strength or resistance is different, and my resistance to such struggle is almost zero!)
Modern society is complicated cooperative system, that each of us take care different things (experts!). This is great because I learned that we humans are good team-workers and that's one of reasons we survived and prospered. But for personal health care, I doubt how much good this cooperation would do. I doubt how much good this marvellous and formidable edifice of modern medicine and health care would to do each individual, except making most people more and more dependent regarding their own health, more and more ignorant about how their own bodies work.
I think medicare system might be good for majority, because most of human beings do follow some certain principles. But I also have reason to believe, that as each individual becomes more and more unique, human race is becoming a more heterogeneous collection, which can be very hard to deal with by general principles, like what modern medicine has been doing.
During my past over 10 years of health struggle, I had been told by doctors again and again that I was perfectly fine, all my test reports were not only fine but fabulous, even when I was in extremely dreadful condition. So I quit seeing doctors, and put health in my own hand. Since then I've been making real progress, slowly, almost only discernible by myself (all people who know me pretty much give up the hope that I could be well). Indeed, without help, I paid tremendous price for each piece I found to solve this monstrous puzzle, but each piece I found is solid and without any "side effects". Early this year, I reached such a great condition that I even thought I was out of darkness "eventually", but I slipped unfortunately again over two month ago. However once again, I am on the way up, and I believe I will be in an even better place than previous time.
Am I really this confident? Yes, because my health care is completely in my own hands.
P.S. Having said all of this, I still objectively keep an option that is I would never be completely healthy again. But even that, I know is still a better condition than to give myself to medical profession.
