3 Hours In Heaven, 3 Days In Misery. Yet There Is HOPE!

morning (Photo credit: Wolfgang Staudt)

Last Monday, which was 7 days ago, I woke up and felt like in Heaven. I went to bank and grocery store, then stopped by a coffee shop for a couple of coffee (hazelnut flavor with french vanilla creamer). I did all of these during one trip, which was quite an achievement to me! I found I was able to smile to people with ease (yes, even smile was energy taking for me for many years) and driving home with a feeling almost could be described as "euphoria". After I got home I turned music loudly and danced like when I was 18!

It was a few hours in Heaven! Really.

About 11 o'clock I went into kitchen to cook my lunch, and found I need some tomatoes. "Sure, I will go get them." I heard myself saying that with confidence. So I rushed out again to grocery store. Just when I was about to be impressed by the fact that I could handle all these things without a bed break, I realized I was reaching the limit of my energy. On the way back from grocery store I "prayed" desperately that my improved condition could keep me stay away from another serious crash, which I hadn't had one for a while. Well, it didn't. My heart started malfunctioning (felt like lack of blood or oxygen) around 3pm and it got worse and lasted for whole 3 days! I did not feel better until Thursday evening (my Wednesday class cancelled). Fortunately, I felt better on Friday, and during whole weekend I felt decent and was able to keep all my weekend classes.

Today is Monday again. Good news is, I have been feeling quite "heavenly" again. This time I was more careful to not have "too many" physical activities.

Living with unknown chronic condition is like walking on the thin ice, you never know when the ice would break. But, despite all of these, I still found my condition has been improved a great deal during the recent 2 or 3 months, first by taking the herbs (beginning of August), soon by completely eliminating regular outdoor exercise (I do yoga stretch daily, which helps blood circulation excellently).

Looking back, since more than a year ago, gradually, I found most of my symptoms were gone: shortness of breathe (the worst), stomach disorder (not much better than the worst), back pain, arthritis, constipation (chronic, for over 3 years long!), and many more (yes, I was totally and chronically screwed!)! Now my heart condition (which was the root problem for all) is pretty much the only symptom that still attack me from time to time. However, during the absence of heart problem - which is still very serious, I definitely feel much more alive. I do hope, after this year - my snake year, my condition could be back to my own "norm", so I could start exercising (walking or biking) regularly. And if I could keep doing that for several month, I could have a "remanufactured" physical health condition!